Wow. I am really at a loss for words which is a wonderful feeling. Some important things happened this weekend. I watched a life changing documentary, found clarity in my life and mind, and the universe figured out my heart and mind are ready....to do nothing but observe my breath.
Maybe a month ago I signed up for a Vipassana meditation course, which had a very long waiting list for females. (Dorian and I both signed up) I signed up knowing that D had participated in one before and told me it was one of the most challenging things he'd ever done. As I sent the application my silly mind thought, "eh...you basically have a snowball's chance in hell at getting into this one." So I wasn't too concerned with it. The Center had sent me emails saying that Feb would be a better time to get on a waiting list, but Feb didn't work out so well with our gardening plans. Around Christmas I got an email asking if I wished to stay on the waiting list, so I pondered, and agreed to stay on.
Now, as in TODAY I received an email saying that I have been accepted! My heart RACED, I felt nervous, my ego kicked in and made me think that this maybe I won't be able to complete the course. I just felt my heart nervously beating in response to my my mind's noise. My hands were trembling from the shock and surprise. If I accept, I have to leave in 3 days!
I talked with D a bit more and watched a video made by the teacher of the course S N Goenka, which settled me and brought about a sense of calm and happiness. So that was it, I confirmed my application right afterward and still feel calm and confident that this is what I need to be doing in my life right now. Wow, I have to leave on Wednesday for the course! Luckily the universe hasn't given me a job!! Life just seems to unfold and you can either fight it or accept and enjoy :)
I will be on complete communication silence from 1/19/11 to 1/30/11.
Don't know what Vipassana is? Click here to learn more.
With a full heart
xoxo
No talking for 11 days!?
ReplyDeleteWow. Good luck!
Yes, from whenever I get there on wednesday to 7 am on the morning of the last day, no talking, to eye contact. Total personal journey. Really incredible and it sounds difficult but I know its absolutely worth it to practice presence and observe the voices in my head, to realize what they really are...
ReplyDeleteHaha..I don't think I'd want to listen to the voices in my head.
ReplyDeleteBut that is awesome that you can do that.
Make sure to post when you get back!
Fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI really want to thank you for the Holga you gave me. I just got back the first rolls I have developed and am surprised and delighted by the results. I posted a number of them. Its a developing relationship between I and the camera. Why, today I was surprised to find a switch at the bottome that determines whether the shutter slips at 1/50th of a second or manually. This explains a number of blurred photos, and the few sharp ones.
This is honestly one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.