Day Twenty Seven

I felt happy, running up the hill that overlooks Eau Claire. My flip flops announcing my steps. I had just about crested the hill when I noticed a man sitting at the lookout point. I froze, slowly focused and snapped a picture, then took off down the hill with the same happiness but an added giggle, heart pounding. I felt like a deer stopped in it's tracks, then bounding down the hill. Having captured and unsuspecting human...tee hee.

I had found a turkey feather near this hill last time I was here. My heart felt full, this time it was a raven feather. I now have two raven feathers and two turkey feathers. 

 Things are coming in pairs. 

Day Eleven

Feeling a little speechless on this one.  My camera has been surprising me with night shots, it gives me trouble with auto focus, which is very understandable I have trouble with manual focus in the dark. 

So many beautiful colors emerged and plays of light, the clouds catching the orange from the city lights, the inky blue night sky, the headlights from my car painting in the roadside plants.

sigh...another confirmation of my love for colors and light.

Day Six

Chasing the sunset. 

Driving up and down the hilly countryside out in the apple orchards. 

I was too impatient to climb the hill in town and sit and wait for the show. 

She crept nearer the horizon.

I took chase, I didn't know of a place that would quite open up enough to see the sun go down,

just followed my heart.

I kept driving.

The sun sank lower, still no clearing.

I looked to the south, at the cotton candy pink clouds, and the green hills.

There is something I love about the round bales and the sweet smell of hay.

The birds bid me to snap quickly...shoot!

I didn't look at my camera settings...

 I got lucky.

A lesson in patience, and being open to the journey.

I wanted the sunset,

but what I got was her love reflected.

Day Five

Part of me thinks I could have done a better job for this day. The other part says Wow...this depicts such an expanse. The clouds look massive and powerful. You can see the setting sun in the lower left corner, obscured by the rains pouring out of the cloud. I love the rain in this picture, a free fall. As you move to the right a cheery bit of blue and pink remind us of the happiness rain brings.

❤

Day Four

My heart sings when I see this. Not only for its velvety inky blackness, but the process it took to get it. 

I had just taken my day three picture around 9pm on June 3. I left a friends house at nearly 11pm on that same night and the clouds were steadily marching past the moon. I wanted to break my rules and take a million pictures of it. I waited, less than an hour to midnight.

 I got home ran upstairs and grabbed my sleeping pad, sleeping bag, a note pad, pencil and I managed to find a tripod. I headed outside attempting to be quiet but as usual I only allow myself to take things in ONE trip. The air valve on my sleeping pad knocked loudly on pretty much every doorway I passed through. (ninja skills were not evident this evening)

I made it outside to the driveway, the light was so beautiful, just enough to not want to use a flashlight, but quite enough to write by, eerie and special. I plopped down and began to affix the tripod parts to my camera to get it set for midnight. Raindrops tipped and tapped nearby...shoot... I opened the garage and settled in there to be safe. They were a tease. The following is what happened while I sat in meditation enjoying the moments until midnight.

A cricket...

whip-poor-will, whip-poor-will, whip-poor-will...

Frogs in surround sound,

a warm breath of wood smoke hovered lazily in the still air

the songs of the night held gently in the stillness.

deep black blue clouds keeping pace, 

steadily marching in front of the moon.

the moon lighting them in a tender radiance

rogue raindrops tapped on metal nearby.

a pair of fireflies danced timidly.

Distant traffic moaning,

a solitary rumble of thunder.

being,

breathing.

glowing.

midnight.

Day Three

I took my first picture early on in the day and was convinced to wait for sunset by a friend. I had another shot which was a slit a blue sky amongst some gray clouds with a kiss of orange and I didn't take it. So I waited and waited. Knowing that a had a good first picture, but that it is also very similar to the first few I posted, classic white clouds and blue skies. This picture happened just before it was almost too dark to hand hold the camera, the last hour if you will. I love it for its deep blue moody-ness.

Day Two

One of my favorite places to look at the sky and rolling hills. I feel this is a place where a bad picture cannot be taken, and it reminds me of computer wallpaper! ha. It's funny how my computer is filled with images from nature. Quite ironic, no?

Day One

June 1

I had taken a picture right around 1 pm wasn't totally thrilled with it. I thought I was going to fail on my first day... I was out with my Aunt and Cousin and company bowling, without my camera and the light was getting low,  it looked like we might not get any moon clouds either! A softly colorful start.

Life changes in moments, constantly.

Random acts of Love

I'm still amazed at this story in it's wholeness... how my path is coming together...so full of love and gratitude.

Last week my amazing friend Aaron (for some reason it's hard for me to call him Dr. unless its followed by buttface...lol I'm obviously never growing up! So I can check that off the bucket list!) has a Patient Appreciation event planned for his Chiropractic patients (Apex Chiropractic) where he's going to have a few vendors and snacks and chair massage then later a dinner at a local restaurant (Wisconsin Street Cafe & Bakery). But he doesn't have a therapist to do the massage, so of course instantly I say, "I can probably do it...but we need a chair." It just so happens that his open hours worked right around my class yesterday, perfect! Also another syncronicity...I had just learned chair massage last Thursday, talk about perfect timing! And they found a chair!

I was getting a bit nervous we had practiced four 15 min chair massages in a row on Thursday night and I could definitely feel they were more taxing than a regular massage on fingers and fore arms, and now I had two shifts where I could be doing chair massage for hours in a row... It's like learning to run on Thursday and then running a half marathon on Monday! Ok, not that bad ;)

The patients were amazing, I was a little nervous for the first one as my chair massage routine sheet got to go home with someone else on Thursday night... I remembered enough to leave people with sleepy relaxed faces when they got up :) ❤ Everyone was so gracious I felt rich in kindness and appreciation. I loved hearing the relaxed tones and slowed pace of their voices when they were talking to me. Some had never had a massage. There was a trio of patients that I connected with and I told Aaron on our way to the Appreciation dinner. I was exhausted sitting by myself at a little table just enjoying the sounds and faces around me and in walks the trio from earlier in the day, Kirby, Mary Lou and Wayne. One of them said to me that I didn't have to sit in the corner by myself, so I followed them up to a table and plopped right down.

To summarize our conversations we were preaching to our own choirs! We talked about me and massage school, how we have a respect for money and realize it's usefulness but don't place much value on it, how much we love connecting with people and helping make things really anything better, and smiling. Kirby said he is drawn to talk to people by their smiles, and Wayne had mentioned something about seeing a creative spark in my eyes, and Mary Lou she was just sweet as heck!

Amongst the talking we got to hear Aaron talk about some of the successes of the the patients who did the 30 day Maximized Living Challenge. In particular a 61 year old man lost 20 pounds and reduced his tryglycerides by astonishing amounts like 290s down to 192 or 92.. and even lowered 20 points in regards to his diabetes, all by changing his diet and exercising! Amazing!

I was feeling so full of love, my arms were heavy and tired I was feeling sleepy and inspired. I always love hearing Aaron talk about the spine and wellness I felt the love he was sharing. I also felt the love from my new trio of friends. I have a hard time describing it other than we all just connected, lovers of life and lovers of sharing that love! You know how you just feel connected to some people, these were my people. I was so grateful just to be around them but Wayne saw something in me or felt he had something to offer. I caught him out of the corner of my eye writing a check...I got nervous and almost thought please don't I hope thats not for me...I have a hard time accepting money, even from my parents unless its my birthday or a holiday.

He slid it near me, I didn't touch it until it was time to go and he said, "Don't forget that." I took it and folded it in half and stuck it in my purse without looking at it. I didn't care if it said 4 cents or 40 dollars. The fact that he wanted to give me something was beautiful, I would have been thrilled if he'd given me a rock. I would however have a problem if it was an exorbitant amount. It wasn't exorbitant though was much more than I thought. I stepped out to use the restroom and came back and gave all three of them a hug, and told Wayne his gift would go directly toward school.

I was amazed, so much love just flowing in and out and around. Those three are trouble, but the good kind, the kid you want to be in :) Three perfect strangers, who are not strangers at all, universal love.

 A poem from a favorite book The Moon Appears When the Water is Still

"A wise saint once said,

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

If we plant seeds of anger, jealousy or hatred

we will harvest only weeds of sadness and misery.

Such is the universal law of nature.

Day follows night. Fathers beget sons.

The apple not only falls close to the tree

the apple is the tree.

Seeds of kindness watered with smiles

must produce flowers of happiness and joy."

Thank you Kirby, Mary Lou and Wayne, for watering my heart with generosity kindness and smiles. Surely the cycle continues. :)

Much love and light

Lindsey xoxo

Night lights and the massage reflex flow-ology

Cloud lightening late one night...

I started massage school just about a month ago...actually we have entered our sixth week. I love it. It feels amazing, it feels like I've stepped into a past life, like I am just a conduit for massage. I just comes thru me, effortless. Being in school is awesome too, I'm totally in love with learning, always. Even when I'm not in school I look for lessons in every little thing. Especially the things my mind thinks I don't want to do. The dishes...as soon as I have that thought that I would just like to put the dishes on the counter, I put them in the dishwasher. (most of the time)

I also met up with some most beautiful women to learn Reflexology. Quite interesting. The day was so beautiful and the learning was free flow and outside in the sun we practiced on each other. Foot rubs that were more like soul rubs (get it?!) Beautiful women, lavender, delicious lunch, reflexology, loveology and connections pretty sure I met a soul sister too...Magic Mama. Our lovely leader Jody Hagedorn was an excellent teacher and pretty rockin cook! She reminds me of the beauty of summertime, it's in her smile. Kelly absorbent as a sponge she is ready to just heal out!

Lots of beautiful night happenings of late. Super moon, wonderful spring storms. My favorite the frogs. 

 It was after a rain

night had come.

Along my trip home,

lay a nook in the woods

where the frogs reside. 

They sing for the moon.

rain song,

rhythm of night

united soul sound

chirps ringing...

croaks floating...

a smile creeps across my face

peace in my heart

metta frogs.

I captured the rhythm on my phone, a small bit of nature metta.

Smile for the frogs.

xoxo

Catch up.

It's been a while, yes? Recently I've felt the preciousness of time. I've acquired a full time temporary job building super computers. (Not quite up my ally, huh? Rest assured I've been entertaining myself with the idea that I'm a robot. Along with occasional spontaneous dance...and a bit of sassy attitude) Well it's kind of neat. The people I work with are great though the amount of time it requires leaves me with a bit of exasperation. I just get fewer of my own tasks done.

I am excited that it is teaching me how to be productive. Productivity and motivation can be challenges for me. The scheduling of breaks I took particular note in. I tend to be a "lets finish this project" kind of person. I am learning the importance of and using time management and how to organize my time. (for Lord's sake,  it's taken me 26 years to start to understand this concept!)

I have also recently learned so much about the human body and is healing systems. And also embarked on a diet. Not to loose weight but maybe to challenge myself and to see how my body reacts. It's called the Paleo Diet. It's quite simple. Eat natural, unprocessed foods. No dairy, no grains, no sugar. Basically lean meat, fruits, veggies and nuts. This particular diet is synonymous with CrossFit. It began on Jan 9. I also was ill with a cold during the first two weeks of it. It was interesting learning about my body and what it needs, balancing sleep and exercise. I have finally committed to competing in a CrossFit competition. I have yet to sign up (its on the agenda for tomorrow) The trainers at the gym have been at me for some time. I feel afraid to do it, which is why I want to do it. I haven't challenged myself lately to do something outside my comfort zone. It give me butterflies just thinking about it, and butterflies are sweet!

 I have also just begun to receive Chiropractic/Welleness treatment. I have become very fascinated by the importance of the spine in regards to how our bodies heal themselves. And have been thoroughly inspired by Aaron. He is an extremely hard working person and it inspires me to see someone who cares and contributes to society as much as he does. It inspires me to manifest positive change in the world.

And my spine you ask? Jacked! Of course. I tried to convince Aaron that my 26 years of no chiropractic care would still not prevent my spine from looking perfect. Though from the shoulders down it looks pretty spiffy. Shoulders up = mess. The tippy top of my spine is actually pointing in the wrong direction, pinching off the nerves that control my immune system. (no wonder why I have contracted so many colds this winter! and had them for a long time!) So many wonderful things were revealed to me through my time spent at Apex Chiropractic. I would encourage all of you to look up your nearest Maximized Living health center. I was amazed at their approach to health!

Massage school has also been on my mind. I feel an intuitive draw to it. I enjoy touch and the healing power of it. I have always had a deep need to help, in the many different dialects of help. Help someone with a task, or to help someone heal. My heart feels strong and beats loudly, and I feel really centered and focused when I give massages. I like how that feels, it feels like love flowing through me and good vibes. I am completely fascinated with anatomy as well, so it looks like a win win!

with love

L

(the photos were taken on Christmas Eve of a local lights display. I love the glow of light off the snow, it's warm and inspiring)

an old poem

I wrote this little treasure around the time I left for California a few years ago and stumbled upon it tonight. I can't say that I have perfect Iambic Pentameter but the feeling is there :)

The hue on my back does not match the rest. 

My wings are cramped,

 grown too large for this nest.

Something's calling me 

among all the noise.

I must follow it now

and find my own voice.

I must use the word "no"

seek balance, and peace

or my very own garden 

 may never grow.

My voice is muddled among all the noise, 

my message was lost

along with my poise.

Goodbyes are sad but full of potential.

I enjoy everyone as I leave for my flight, 

 to answer my call in a new hedgerow.

My colors are changing, 

growing and morphing.

my surroundings are no longer suiting.

Learning and growing,

Planting and sewing.

I plan to be with 

our Mother Nature.

With a wind thru the trees 

and a smile on my face,

I head off on this adventure

to find my own place.

Love and Peace

xoxo L

Floaty-Dancy Land, Autonomy and ....

I have been, for lack of a better term, in floaty-dancy land (kind of like your life is suspended in jello). Not really sure what I want to do, wondering what it is I am meant to do. Nothing really strikes me, makes my heart jump it's all lack luster... Obviously I'm identifying with something in my mind thats holding me back...

 My problem is more so that I could see myself doing so many things that I can't decide! A blessing and a curse! I also need to push myself I need a bit of a challenge! I am starting a temporary job which I think might help out, I'll have more going on in my schedule and will make me appreciate the time I have to create and thus be more productive. Sorry I think I just needed to vent at you guys! Any suggestions are welcome!

One thing I do feel I need is autonomy. I like doing things by myself, I don't like relying on others for things. I like to do it myself and in my own way! I guess I'm manifesting my own place? I need a space of my own to flush out ideas. Or just be by myself. The fact is I'm a terrible decision maker! I just can't decide and don't feel compelled toward anything. BAH! haha

Oh who am I kidding... apologies for the incoherent rambling! But to be honest its quite descriptive of the happenings in my head of late. (sigh) It's honestly making me feel a bit exasperated even thinking about it let alone seeing it on the screen. (big sigh)


I think I will call this the dormancy period! Just like the trees and plants in the winter....I know something is just waiting to flower!

Much Love,
L

paintings and nature magic

This is an old friend I wanted to update you on. I started the "quadropus" when I was in North Carolina. So it has been a long process so far. I just wanted to give you a little pictorial tour of the changes its been through.

This orange phase was the under painting. I like do do under painting so that when I paint the final colors on top some of the colors underneath can show through.

 This Phase was the background painting. You can see some of the orange pokes thru the green blue background. If you could see this in person the orange is very firy and red like a burning sunset.

 I had a hard time trying to decide how to finish this one. I paint relatively fast and I tend to not have a whole lot of patience for tedious details. (which is kind of ironic...) I ended up having a lightening strike moment. I do have patience for embroidery and its tiny details. So of course I had to put them together!

I remember having a distinct vision of what the little suction cups would look like when they got embroidered. I have a clear vision for a few of the other details as well. The quadropus is a work in progress very slow progress! I love it!

This monarch I just recently finished. He (yes its a he!) sat patiently as I tended to sewing. I actually originally didn't like how the background had turned out so I set him aside. (do we see a pattern here... apparently my paintings need time outs before they get finished!) I felt so happy as I painted the wings. I could just feel the joy pouring from my heart. 

This is my little Goldfinch friend. She came about right after the monarch. I had her drawn on the piece of hard board and just went straight to it after the monarch. 

She was a visitor about a month ago, she came to visit me 3 times (did i tell you this?) right before I headed to the Midwest Shamanic Gathering. I looked up what she meant in my Animal Speak book, and in short she was awakening me to the Nature Spirits. I was so excited! When I say she visited me she landed on my window twice, barely gripping to the trim on the outside as she peered inside. The first occasion I was singing in the shower and stepped out of the bathroom still singing and she was perched there listening. The second morning i was sitting on my pillow meditating and I heard a small noise on the window, she had come back again! The third visit I was talking with my uncle in the living room and saw a flutter high in the window sure enough she was there! 

A day or so before this all had happened I had discovered an old feather I had found while in California. It was crumpled and kinked up from being smashed in a pocket in my backpack. I showed it to my squeeze and we both determined that it was probably a turkey feather. I set it on my window sill (yep the same window where Goldfinch landed!). After my visits with Goldfinch I took the feather and others with me to the Shamanic Gathering, where they lay in a net in my tent all weekend. On Friday night I attended a sweat lodge, which was amazing! That night I had a glowing vision of feathers as if backlit by a bright white light. I scratched out a picture and proceeded to be serenaded by a thunderstorm all night. Then on Monday when I was packing up my things I pulled out my feathers and as I grabbed my 'turkey' feather my first thought was that it looked like a hawk feather, and my second realization was that it look like it was in almost perfect condition! Over the weekend the feather had been healed. The extra funny thing was that I hadn't touched it all weekend! I wish I had a before picture, it had at least 2 kinks in it and was bent into a "c' shape.

Happy Nature magic! Keep your eyes open it's happening all the time!

Much Love!

L

And I almost forgot! Check out my Etsy shop there are a few new listings!!

humbled

So poignant that my post following one encouraging Bee-ing happy is filled with frustration. I currently am floating in a mood of frustration. I am home with my family whom I love and have even found someone I am a lottle sweet on, which tends to add to my frustration. I can't help but feel like a burden, and a huge money suck. Let me lay it out for you, as simply as I know how to.  I came home, my dad fixed my car, my mom bought me clothes, I eat my aunt and uncle's food and live in their house. This boy I'm sweet on has a friggin' heart of gold, and also won't have me paying for things. I have no job, in the traditional sense (this may lead to another post...). And I probably have one too many hobbies.... (sound of giant vacuum sucking up a pile of sand...with a lego caught in the spinning brush) Mix into that the classic, what am I doing with my life!? That recipe sounds a little like worthless soup with a side of frustration and a lego SANDwich. (< hah get it? the sand and lego from before right?!! (note to self: research career in comedy.))

 Worthless like a big ol' homeless, jobless leech. (with an incredible sense of humor) But I guess leeches even have a purpose, they can suck the life back into a body part that had been accidently removed right? (trying to convince myself here)

I feel HUMBLED looking at all these words. I really do appreciate the frustration, it makes me squirm a little and brings about change. It will push me to make decisions. 

But I still feel guilt.  Lets explore this.


Guilt, as I would describe it feels like weight on my heart. Like parts of it are made of lead making it heavy and sluggish. The lead was ammo of the mind, now poisoning the body. (making me feel yucky!) Life filled blood being pumped through a lead heart. (double yucky) In response, a poem.

Magic Mind is Heavy Heart?

Thoughts; non existent, but heavy like lead.

Shot aimed for the Heart, fingering the trigger. 

The mind a skilled marksman. 

Fire!

Guilt nails the target, frustration and worthlessness follow suit.

Ripping into the love and light of Heart.

Mind keeps up the resistance. 

Pounding at Heart.

Heart keeps pumping, peacefully accepting its fate.

Breath focuses presently, softening the blow:

One moment at a time, one breath at a time.

A divine light is shown, lifts the weight. 

There is no lead, no shot to the Heart. 

Mind is a magician, an illusionist.

The lead is no heavier than a bubble.

Let it float away, 

popping in the light.

releasing the heart.

The mind is very powerful, capable of coercing physical reactions to thoughts. Fascinating, and frustrating. But I choose to accept and observe my frustration. After all its just a sensation. It's just there temporarily. It will pass. I just have to breathe and be. 

Thanks for listening, feels good to get that out. Sometimes I think I'm going to scare people when I share my feelings. So there it is. Take it as you will; be scared, spit on your computer, do a dance, make a face, ask questions, or remind me comedy is not a good career move. I will just enjoy the fact that my heart feels just a little bit lighter :) And even though my jokes are lame, they still make me smile and laugh! haha! (touché lame comedy haters!) I also revel in how easily entertained I am...hah. I bid you adieu!

Feel the love, spread smiles!

"Even when the sky is heavily overcast, the sun hasn't disappeared. It's still there on the other side of the clouds."

-Eckhart Tolle

xoxo 

Messengers

I feel I have always had what I call a soft spot for animals whether they are two, four, six or even eight or million legged. They capture my attention and fascinate me....beautiful beings. I have started to learn they are bearers of messages. Reminders for us to be aware. Reminders and guides. Their intelligence is not one from books it's inherent, intuitive and wise. I don't feel yet I can share with you their magic maybe soon. For now I will share my encounters.

Butterflies

I met this beautiful Monarch at a butterfly house at Beaver Creek Reserve. It wasn't the best day for butterflies I was told. Of course I decided to venture out anyway. I locked right onto this one struggling on a plastic sign cover. I stretched my hand out and it crawled right on. We spent quite some time together before it decided to fly over to a nearby milkweed plant. I remember the great sense of power I felt as it crawled on my hand. For such a weightless creature it had an incredible grasp!

Red Spotted Purple

This is another friend from the butterfly house. I collected another of its kind in my garage. My mom had pulled out her car to give it a scrub, and in its place were two treasures. One perfect little Pink Edged Sulfur and a Red Spotted Purple, who was a little worse for the wear. They unfortunately had met their end, though I touched the Purple and it began to flap its wing, slowly open and closed. I stayed and watched quietly as my parents shuffled about, my dad peering over obviously wondering what I was doing. I showed him the flapping butterfly. He commented something about a butterfly healer haha. I would be so honored! After I was sure the Purple had passed I picked them up and inspected. I couldn't believe the Purple had been able to flap...only had one good pair of wings on one side the other side was crumpled as well as I believe it was missing many organs....a special moment.

Aphrodite Fritillary

 I was out for a bike ride with my Auntie the other day, and of course as always had my animal spotting eyes on. After about 10 miles I hadn't noticed much. Then on my way down the hill I saw what I thought may be a Swallowtail traipsing in its bouncing flight pattern across the road. I sailed closer just to  have a friendly collision on my shirt. It really didn't seem to noticed and continued on his way. We should all be so calm and accepting of surprise situations!

Cope's Gray Treefrog

This little friend my mom found hanging out on our house. Just a little bigger than a quarter.

This is my parents resident Gray Fox. It lives in the back yard, we've seen it often leaving the den and returning about two hours later near dusk sometimes with prey. So beautiful. My dad also had a Fox and pups living under a shed at his auto shop! Maybe he has a fox totem animal? They sure seem to like him. I let my dog Jack outside one morning about 4:30 am and heard the strangest "Arf" noise...it was the fox with its territorial call!

Jack also woke me up early to see the mist burning off the lake. He's a great friend :)

Have you experienced any animal magic lately or do you have a totem animal? I would love to hear about it!

xoxo

L

Tennessee, a small glimpse in pictures

It was a lovely spot, lush with growth and life. 

I was so excited to see this little treasure! Its a Luna Moth! I have seen two this year, the other one was at Wood's Hole Hostel.  It gave me some inspiration to paint again. I've encountered lots of animal visitors lately. I got a book that helps me understand the messages and magic they bring. 

much love

xoxo

The Cascades: Virginia. Trip two.

Still just as beautiful as the first time. This time I had my big camera...

The butterfly is taking flight!

Justine was excellent at finding caterpillars and taming butterflies!

 The Rhododendrons had such beautiful light falling on them.

When I got to look back on these photos I felt such a sense of calm. The Cascades is such a serene place, happy soothing vibes. 

Bidding you some happy soothing peaceful vibes 

xoxo much love :)