Day Two

One of my favorite places to look at the sky and rolling hills. I feel this is a place where a bad picture cannot be taken, and it reminds me of computer wallpaper! ha. It's funny how my computer is filled with images from nature. Quite ironic, no?

in pictures

Well hello again! Its been a spell. Far too long...Grandmother Spider was reminding me many weeks ago when she crawled on my face one night, then the next night brought a light colored friend to visit as well, they hung out on the window sill above my bed. One dark one light. So for Spider I write!

Creating....

I'm not sure if you remember this blue bag, I made it for a beautiful wonderful friend in North Carolina, it was for her daughter for her birthday. She contacted me a while ago and exclaimed she wanted one too just like Natalie's but a little bigger. I was excited, I knew instantly what fabric I would use, one that reminded me of Paige. She loved it!! <3

Hand drawn and embroidered

 Worms...

 Did I ever tell you I have worms?? I do! And they make magical poo! These bins started with a hand full of soil and a mound of newspaper, and I slowly added chopped up food that I didn't want to eat, and the worms made it into yummy nutrient filled soil! However I need to rework my design, some escape to their demise on the cement floor... :(

The snow is gone! And the grass is GREEN!

My little altar that sits atop my window sill above my head as I sleep

Ferns sprouting in the Wisconsin woods

I went for a nice hike in the woods with a great friend and we spotted these ferns sprouting up everywhere! It was wonderful to be out in the woods, and it was such a beautiful day. I need to remember to make sure I get lots of outside time!

I have also recently started school again. I didn't think I would ever go back to school after college. But this is different, I am studying to be a massage therapist. It's so wonderful, I absolutely love being able to be so close with people gently communicating with their bodies to help them heal. Touch is so amazing, giving and receiving massages is a meditative practice for me as well. When receiving a massage I have to focus repeatedly reminding myself to relax, let go. I am always holding some muscle in tension. I feel love flowing when I give massages, warm and golden.

<3<3

-L

Catch up.

It's been a while, yes? Recently I've felt the preciousness of time. I've acquired a full time temporary job building super computers. (Not quite up my ally, huh? Rest assured I've been entertaining myself with the idea that I'm a robot. Along with occasional spontaneous dance...and a bit of sassy attitude) Well it's kind of neat. The people I work with are great though the amount of time it requires leaves me with a bit of exasperation. I just get fewer of my own tasks done.

I am excited that it is teaching me how to be productive. Productivity and motivation can be challenges for me. The scheduling of breaks I took particular note in. I tend to be a "lets finish this project" kind of person. I am learning the importance of and using time management and how to organize my time. (for Lord's sake,  it's taken me 26 years to start to understand this concept!)

I have also recently learned so much about the human body and is healing systems. And also embarked on a diet. Not to loose weight but maybe to challenge myself and to see how my body reacts. It's called the Paleo Diet. It's quite simple. Eat natural, unprocessed foods. No dairy, no grains, no sugar. Basically lean meat, fruits, veggies and nuts. This particular diet is synonymous with CrossFit. It began on Jan 9. I also was ill with a cold during the first two weeks of it. It was interesting learning about my body and what it needs, balancing sleep and exercise. I have finally committed to competing in a CrossFit competition. I have yet to sign up (its on the agenda for tomorrow) The trainers at the gym have been at me for some time. I feel afraid to do it, which is why I want to do it. I haven't challenged myself lately to do something outside my comfort zone. It give me butterflies just thinking about it, and butterflies are sweet!

 I have also just begun to receive Chiropractic/Welleness treatment. I have become very fascinated by the importance of the spine in regards to how our bodies heal themselves. And have been thoroughly inspired by Aaron. He is an extremely hard working person and it inspires me to see someone who cares and contributes to society as much as he does. It inspires me to manifest positive change in the world.

And my spine you ask? Jacked! Of course. I tried to convince Aaron that my 26 years of no chiropractic care would still not prevent my spine from looking perfect. Though from the shoulders down it looks pretty spiffy. Shoulders up = mess. The tippy top of my spine is actually pointing in the wrong direction, pinching off the nerves that control my immune system. (no wonder why I have contracted so many colds this winter! and had them for a long time!) So many wonderful things were revealed to me through my time spent at Apex Chiropractic. I would encourage all of you to look up your nearest Maximized Living health center. I was amazed at their approach to health!

Massage school has also been on my mind. I feel an intuitive draw to it. I enjoy touch and the healing power of it. I have always had a deep need to help, in the many different dialects of help. Help someone with a task, or to help someone heal. My heart feels strong and beats loudly, and I feel really centered and focused when I give massages. I like how that feels, it feels like love flowing through me and good vibes. I am completely fascinated with anatomy as well, so it looks like a win win!

with love

L

(the photos were taken on Christmas Eve of a local lights display. I love the glow of light off the snow, it's warm and inspiring)

Northern Wisconsin Retreat

I was proud of my emptied spool of thread!

I spent the past weekend with my cousin, Aunt and Grandma. I happened to be home this year for one of my favorite events, the Quilting Retreat to Camp Luther in Three Lakes Wisconsin! I love it for so many reasons. We get to run away for the weekend and sew up a storm 3 hours away from our homes! You bring with you what fabric you have and make use of it! I love how much I feel I get accomplished. It's almost as if we get trapped on Sewing Island with nothing to do but sew ALL weekend! And bombard the one local fabric store!

I decided that I wouldn't do as I wanted (which would be to bring my entire fabric stash!) and that I would make use of all of the scraps from previous projects as well as a few forgotten projects. I'm glad I narrowed it down! I may have spent the whole weekend deciding what to do instead of doing!

Grandma and Aunt Jane working away in the
background!

I learned so many things this weekend including some tips about how I can teach myself a more efficient way of working called I need fewer decisions! I will be the first to tell you I am the captain of the ship "Indecisive" adrift in the waters of indecision.... yep its that bad!

 I also learned physical space can be a good tool. It felt wonderful to 'escape' for a weekend. I feel centered again. I had a rough cycle this past week, there were a lot of transitions happening and I was fighting with myself about a lot of things. The time and space away helped me to regain composure and see life as simple and wonderful, a gift to be cherished. I also had the blessing of Eagle on the way home, perched in a tree reminding me that nature is always speaking and that a silent mind aids in hearing her words.



We had devotional time where we sang songs and shared in readings from the Bible. I haven't spent any time studying the religion in which I was raised (catholocism). It was beautiful to hear the words and feel the oneness of the teachings of the religions I know. From Buddhism to Christianity they seem

to be teaching the same thing.

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Love yourself to love others, as we are all one.

humbled

So poignant that my post following one encouraging Bee-ing happy is filled with frustration. I currently am floating in a mood of frustration. I am home with my family whom I love and have even found someone I am a lottle sweet on, which tends to add to my frustration. I can't help but feel like a burden, and a huge money suck. Let me lay it out for you, as simply as I know how to.  I came home, my dad fixed my car, my mom bought me clothes, I eat my aunt and uncle's food and live in their house. This boy I'm sweet on has a friggin' heart of gold, and also won't have me paying for things. I have no job, in the traditional sense (this may lead to another post...). And I probably have one too many hobbies.... (sound of giant vacuum sucking up a pile of sand...with a lego caught in the spinning brush) Mix into that the classic, what am I doing with my life!? That recipe sounds a little like worthless soup with a side of frustration and a lego SANDwich. (< hah get it? the sand and lego from before right?!! (note to self: research career in comedy.))

 Worthless like a big ol' homeless, jobless leech. (with an incredible sense of humor) But I guess leeches even have a purpose, they can suck the life back into a body part that had been accidently removed right? (trying to convince myself here)

I feel HUMBLED looking at all these words. I really do appreciate the frustration, it makes me squirm a little and brings about change. It will push me to make decisions. 

But I still feel guilt.  Lets explore this.


Guilt, as I would describe it feels like weight on my heart. Like parts of it are made of lead making it heavy and sluggish. The lead was ammo of the mind, now poisoning the body. (making me feel yucky!) Life filled blood being pumped through a lead heart. (double yucky) In response, a poem.

Magic Mind is Heavy Heart?

Thoughts; non existent, but heavy like lead.

Shot aimed for the Heart, fingering the trigger. 

The mind a skilled marksman. 

Fire!

Guilt nails the target, frustration and worthlessness follow suit.

Ripping into the love and light of Heart.

Mind keeps up the resistance. 

Pounding at Heart.

Heart keeps pumping, peacefully accepting its fate.

Breath focuses presently, softening the blow:

One moment at a time, one breath at a time.

A divine light is shown, lifts the weight. 

There is no lead, no shot to the Heart. 

Mind is a magician, an illusionist.

The lead is no heavier than a bubble.

Let it float away, 

popping in the light.

releasing the heart.

The mind is very powerful, capable of coercing physical reactions to thoughts. Fascinating, and frustrating. But I choose to accept and observe my frustration. After all its just a sensation. It's just there temporarily. It will pass. I just have to breathe and be. 

Thanks for listening, feels good to get that out. Sometimes I think I'm going to scare people when I share my feelings. So there it is. Take it as you will; be scared, spit on your computer, do a dance, make a face, ask questions, or remind me comedy is not a good career move. I will just enjoy the fact that my heart feels just a little bit lighter :) And even though my jokes are lame, they still make me smile and laugh! haha! (touché lame comedy haters!) I also revel in how easily entertained I am...hah. I bid you adieu!

Feel the love, spread smiles!

"Even when the sky is heavily overcast, the sun hasn't disappeared. It's still there on the other side of the clouds."

-Eckhart Tolle

xoxo 

Learning Happens..... Always

I am learning so much about how I want my Etsy work to flow and what are the best ways to manage it. I tend to cling to certain methods in my head about how I should do something. An example: I think that I need to make a bunch of stuff, then photograph it and list it all in globular chunks. I realized today that my photo patience can be low sometimes and that I may benefit from shorter photo sessions. I also noticed it took me nearly four hours to edit photos for 4 items and list them. wow! I have also noticed my body responds better to being able to change positions frequently.  I just wanted to share with you much was learned today with trials and errors and edits and re-dos! They are the best! 

Check out some peeks of the goods and my ETSY Page!

A little bird has flown into my life to teach as well. I have had 3 visits from a lovely little Goldfinch. She brings exciting news of Awakening to Nature Spirits, which seems rather timely since I will be attending the Midwest Shamanic Gathering this weekend! 

The first sighting was after I was singing in the shower I stepped out of my bathroom still singing and she was perched on the edge of my bedroom window, I kept singing and stepped closer and she opened her mouth in song as well. I sat on the bed and watched her for a moment then she flew off. I then realized the night before I had found a Turkey feather which was a bit crunched up and laid it on the window sill that she sat upon. 

Number two: This morning I managed to prop myself up early for my morning meditation and the hour was well underway when I heard a noise I immediately knew was tiny talons grasping onto the window frame. I cracked my eyes and spied her again! She sang to me this time and stayed for a few moments as I attempted to capture her on my camera she flew off the exact moment I went to press the button. 

The Third: I was being distracted by the television when I saw a fluttering up high in the living room window. Again I knew it was her! I slunk out the noisy screen door and leaned over to spy her clutched to the window frame, she spotted me quickly and sailed off with her up and down flight pattern. 

Her very first visit inspired a painting, now for the doing! I have two other paintings in progress and other sewing projects. You can believe I haven't been sitting idly by ;) but there is a lot of behind the scenes work I hope to share with you soon!

Much love and light, and Learning!!

The Queen has a red dot! 

and Bee Happy!

xoxo!