Thursday, November 17, 2011

Floaty-Dancy Land, Autonomy and ....

I have been, for lack of a better term, in floaty-dancy land (kind of like your life is suspended in jello). Not really sure what I want to do, wondering what it is I am meant to do. Nothing really strikes me, makes my heart jump it's all lack luster... Obviously I'm identifying with something in my mind thats holding me back...

 My problem is more so that I could see myself doing so many things that I can't decide! A blessing and a curse! I also need to push myself I need a bit of a challenge! I am starting a temporary job which I think might help out, I'll have more going on in my schedule and will make me appreciate the time I have to create and thus be more productive. Sorry I think I just needed to vent at you guys! Any suggestions are welcome!

One thing I do feel I need is autonomy. I like doing things by myself, I don't like relying on others for things. I like to do it myself and in my own way! I guess I'm manifesting my own place? I need a space of my own to flush out ideas. Or just be by myself. The fact is I'm a terrible decision maker! I just can't decide and don't feel compelled toward anything. BAH! haha

Oh who am I kidding... apologies for the incoherent rambling! But to be honest its quite descriptive of the happenings in my head of late. (sigh) It's honestly making me feel a bit exasperated even thinking about it let alone seeing it on the screen. (big sigh)

I think I will call this the dormancy period! Just like the trees and plants in the winter....I know something is just waiting to flower!

Much Love,