Wow. I am really at a loss for words which is a wonderful feeling. Some important things happened this weekend. I watched a life changing documentary, found clarity in my life and mind, and the universe figured out my heart and mind are ready....to do nothing but observe my breath.
Maybe a month ago I signed up for a Vipassana meditation course, which had a very long waiting list for females. (Dorian and I both signed up) I signed up knowing that D had participated in one before and told me it was one of the most challenging things he'd ever done. As I sent the application my silly mind thought, "eh...you basically have a snowball's chance in hell at getting into this one." So I wasn't too concerned with it. The Center had sent me emails saying that Feb would be a better time to get on a waiting list, but Feb didn't work out so well with our gardening plans. Around Christmas I got an email asking if I wished to stay on the waiting list, so I pondered, and agreed to stay on.
Now, as in TODAY I received an email saying that I have been accepted! My heart RACED, I felt nervous, my ego kicked in and made me think that this maybe I won't be able to complete the course. I just felt my heart nervously beating in response to my my mind's noise. My hands were trembling from the shock and surprise. If I accept, I have to leave in 3 days!
I talked with D a bit more and watched a video made by the teacher of the course S N Goenka, which settled me and brought about a sense of calm and happiness. So that was it, I confirmed my application right afterward and still feel calm and confident that this is what I need to be doing in my life right now. Wow, I have to leave on Wednesday for the course! Luckily the universe hasn't given me a job!! Life just seems to unfold and you can either fight it or accept and enjoy :)
I will be on complete communication silence from 1/19/11 to 1/30/11.
Don't know what Vipassana is? Click here to learn more.
With a full heart